MYANMAR TOUR - November 2005
G'day, I was just thinking and
trying to remember about last weekend and I thought I might write it down.
It's quite a lot, but it was a pretty big weekend.
Let me take you through the first full team International Parrot Tour:
Destination: Yangon, Myanmar
Opposition: Irrawaddy Cricket Club
Spoils: The Andaman Trophy
Friday
3 of the boys and 2 of the girls arrived in Yangon on Friday morning with
the remaining 7 boys (yeah - our 11th player, Huw, got shafted by his
employer at the last minute) and 1 girl, mustering at 7pm Friday night at an
airport bar debating the merits of Bangkok's traffic culture.
Like all good tourists we each left our dignity at Don Muang and boarded
Myanmar International armed with only one piece of information about Myanmar
between us; Apparently, the beer's real good.
As soon as we touched down we were sold on the place. Out of the plane on a
clear, quiet night we piled into a bus and travelled the 15 metres to the
airport terminal.
A van ride to a flash hotel literally pronounced "Karn-dodgy Palace" and
then off to Mr Guitar Bar to meet the Irrawaddy fellas and be reunited with
the rest of the flock. Our solitary piece of information was immediately
verified when we saw the state of Nick, Gary and Slatts who had been to an
Aussie Embassy Quiz night and were as pissed as the proverbials. Slatts and
Nick had been on the go since 9:30am and our fiery opening bowler had just
been informing some foolish punter that Holland is actually only a part of
the Netherlands (personally I would never dispute a man who knows Amsterdam
like the back of his hand!). We found out first hand that the beer is indeed
real good in Myanmar and it was back to the dodgy palace where we retired
with low, single figures on the clock.
Saturday
After a pleasant breakfast under clear skies the party assembled at 8:30am
meeting with Irrawaddy Club President Stu and a van to take us to the
ground. I was last one down and freaked out a bit seeing the van hoon off
with the lads waving arms and yelling something. Relieved to see Stu and a
Taxi still there I jumped into the car assuring Stu that I was certainly the
last to leave the hotel.
After a 20 or 30 minute bumpy ride with Stuart from the Waikato educating
and entertaining me with true stories of government antics that make this
mob seem relatively sane, we came upon one of the best cricket playing
surfaces in Asia. I'm not kidding. This Aussie bloke, Ben Davis, looks after
the grass on the golf course and somehow he and his helpers have produced a
good block with even bounce and an outfield that could host test cricket.
A bright clean day with no background noise other than birds, insects and
the odd ear splitting painful blast of some truly terrible
Burmese/Indian/rooting cat type of sound played at 3000 decibels from a
rickety old song-taew. A quick look at the pitch with a few "ooh's" and "ah's"
and the odd "f****n beauty" from Jimmy and into the stylish old changing
rooms we went.
It was about now that it dawned on us that we'd actually left T Tree behind
at the hotel with the prospect of no-one knowing what cricket is, let alone
where. We decided he probably had the right to be a pit pissed off but
consoled ourselves with the fact that at least we had his bat and pads! The
Treeman duly arrived with a big grin on his face and because there are no
coins in Myanmar, we used his hands to decide the toss in a "which hand are
the keys in" fashion. I yet again, mixed up my left with my right and Nigel,
their captain guessed correctly. After much deliberation and ultimately (I
reckon) falling for my brer fox brer rabbit tactic in suggesting we should
bat first, he elected to bat; thus securing first real dibs on the inviting
Beer Myanmar to the Parrots for the second innings.
Slatts and Wanie opened up the 35 over 10 men each "International" with
miserly aplomb and runs were scarce after 8 overs. Stu got the men from
Myanmar going with a good knock of 46, while the Prez took 2 wickets, Nick
bowled beautifully for 7 overs in a row and Tree bowled a tight second
spell. We were delighted to travel with a couple of Parrots who play league
cricket for the Southerners; Funky Dave and Vaughany. Vaughan is the
Southerners batsman/wicketkeeper but it was his offspinners turning sideways
that helped us out in the middle of the innings. Slatts and Wanie finished
the innings nicely picking up a wicket each with Slatts conceding 6 runs
from 7 overs (and bowling a stumping - ha ha). Sledge Jimmy and Funky were
first class in the field and were a big reason behind the low total.
154 to win
Sledge and Jimmy opened with James slashing a square cut and looking very
comfortable. A leading edge diving caught and bowled removed him and a
rising ball touched Sledges edge and shit! it's 2 for 6! The Prez came in
and got settled nicely before the jaffa of the day snuck under his bat. A
classic yorker from Ben the curator and we're 3 for 14. Funky strides out
and he and I decide that drinks at the 12th over will be the aim and we set
about righting the ship. Disaster struck the ball before drinks and we were
4 for 26.
Myself and T Tree then put our heads down and patiently turned things
around. It was a gutsy partnership with T Tree batting the best he has for
the Parrots and he paced his innings well. We had a flurry at the end and
got to 154 with 6 wickets in hand in the 32nd over. Treeman not out on 62
and me not out on 69 (titter).
Irrawaddy played very well throughout and applied real pressure on us for
most of the match. Their ability and spirit combined with the excellent
playing conditions and facilities, and the extremely hot weather (amazing
how hot the sun is when it's not filtered by 5 miles of soot and smog) made
for a top game of cricket and the atmosphere and banter was befitting the
first game involving a touring cricket team in Burma for 50 years.
A few beers and a rousing vodka slammer session followed with all players
and spectators from both sides joining in.
A damn near perfect day of cricket.
Our gracious hosts had jacked up a dinner at the Savoy Hotel so we 3 "sh"ed
and taxied to the venue. Another beautiful setting by the pool on a
typically peaceful night saw us have some tucker and beer and Stu presented
Gary with the Andaman Trophy - a beautifully carved wooden piece that will
be on display in the ever swelling Parrot trophy cabinet on Soi 33.
Mad Benny then presented each of the team with
'long jees" - big skirts that everyone wears. So we got "authentic" and
finished up a grand day with the rugby and more beer.
Sunday
As often happens, many of Sunday�s plans were those of the "best laid"
variety. 4 Parrots went golfing 3 went wandering the town, 3 hired a car and
driver and 3 nursed hangovers or relaxed by the pool. The magnificent 7
(plus Rung) rendezvoused at the dodgy lobby at 4pm to catch a 5:45 flight
back to reality while our 5 person advance party remained in Yangon for
another night of tranquillity.
Before we knew it we our migration was completed and we were back in the
City of Angels' familiar rustle and bustle, only this time we had a wee
glint in the eye and a head full of fantastic memories.
I have to tell you about the incredible hospitality we received from the
Myanmar fellas. We always had rides taking us places, the hotel and
facilities were simply sensational, the dinners were great and beers flowed
freely. Top, top people who really gave us a good time - thanks to Stu, Ben,
Nigel and Malut(sp?), Steve, Brett, James, Steve N, Max, Hayley, Rose and
Stu Senior and everyone else for a choice trip!
Mention must be made regarding our female Parrots (Parrakeets are a
different breed and can be found next to the ever swelling trophy cabinet on
Soi 33). Pen, Tip and Rung kept an eye on the boys (especially Gary, Slatts
and Sledge) in Myanmar and were, as always, delightful and vital companions.
(tries to resist some sort of "on the nest" pun and shamefully settles for
this current sentence)
Off the field, the undoubted MVP goes to Funky Dave who only closed his eyes
for about 5 hours from Friday to Sunday. Fuelled on by the elixir that is
Beer Myanmar, Funky charged through day and night and provided your scribe
with countless laughs and fine moments. Armed with a bit of local Kyat,
bellies full of Beer Myanmar imbibed over the Royal Lake during sunrise we
donned our local dresses and set off onto the streets to not only embrace
the local culture, but also give it a bit of a shake and a sturdy
Kiwi/Aussie slap on the back!
We got to the first bar we found and spent the day getting pissed.
We sat on small plastic furniture slugging down the holy water, talking
absolute shite, laughing a lot and slowly and unwittingly poisoning our
stomachs with the ice we were keeping in the beer!
A perfect way to end a perfect Parrot tour; would do it all again in a heart beat.
Cheers
Kiwi
